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Jennifer Pahl's avatar

This whole idea of God loving the oppressor came to a head in my family at the beginning of 2023 when my abusive ex suddenly passed away. Some of my kids wrestled with the question of “is he in heaven?” Because if he was in heaven, then they didn’t want to go there when it was their turn. And if he just got a free pass into heaven after the way he treated us here on earth, they wanted nothing to do with a God who didn’t care. I gave them space for their questions. I didn’t give them the pat answers I was given growing up in a Christian home. The pastor at the memorial service also honoured my kids by not giving the typical sermon, but acknowledged the complexity in our situation. At the end of the memorial service, I shared that hearing phrases like “he was such a good guy or a wonderful man” shouldn’t be shared with my kids at this time. They needed to not have their experience of him minimized, they needed space to grieve in their own way. We purposefully kept the memorial to a small crowd of invited guests. We told others to find a way to express their grief in a different manner, because protecting my kids was more important to me.

I needed to hear the perspective you shared today, Joash. That yes, God loves the oppressor, but he stands with the oppressed. Thank you for sharing this article with us. (By the way, one of my sons shares your name!)

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Pricelis Dominguez's avatar

Period! This is good brother. I worked in the human trafficking field for 7 years and witnessing the forgiveness of survivors towards their oppressors completely changed my life. It healed parts of me and deepened my theology of justice and God’s love.

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